Everyone who sawthis movie reacted the same way.
Ah, college. The good old days. Everyone remembers the torturous agony, the unbearable pain, the constant desire to shove your head in a guillotine to end it all. Oh, wait, that’s not college, that’s the movie College. The latest flick about fat, ugly, stupid teenagers who have wacky adventures that result in growing emotionally, getting laid, and killing billions of my brain cells, College seems to have reached a new low in the genre, making the American Pie straight-to-DVD sequels look like high art. Never, under any circumstances, would I sit through College, but fortunately, that’s what the C.E.S.S. Pool is for. College tried to hide from the critics, hoping to avoid the thrashings it knew it would get, but a few brave people hunted it down and gave it the beating it deserved,
P.S. You might be wondering why Disaster Movie is not featured this week. I am so disgusted by the glut of spoof movies and their Satan-spawned creators that I refuse to give Disaster Movie the credit of being allowed into the C.E.S.S. Pool. Instead, I will give it a Dishonorable Mention.
Like a fraternity hazing, the film is sexist, gross, and simultaneously homophobic and homoerotic; like a freshman dying of alcohol poisoning, it’s not funny in the slightest. From Alonso Duralde of MSNBC
Andrew Caldwell is the definitive offender here… screaming his lines and furiously trying to “outfunny” his co-stars with his noxious variety of comedic larceny.. Caldwell is an inexcusable, exasperatingly vile screen presence in a film with considerable competition for such a title. From Brian Orndorf of This is Briandom
It’s difficult to laugh when you’re choking back vomit. From Geoff Berkshire of Metromix Los Angeles
