We all want to burn Rainn Wilson to death.
Have you ever wanted to shove a pair of drumsticks so far down your throat that you vomit up a combination of splinters and intestines, which you then use as shampoo? If not, then I would advise against going to see The Rocker, which will inspire more or less the same feeling. Of course, I can only assume that this is the case based on the commercials, because The Rocker, starring the ugly moron from The Office, looks to atrocious for me to risk seeing in theaters, lest I choke on my own tongue. Fortunately, that’s what the C.E.S.S. Pool is for. There are people braver than I who have risked their sanity in going to see The Rocker, and have come out to tell the tale of what they saw. Let’s find out what they have to say…
A pox I say, on the house of the individual who first told Rainn Wilson he was a funny man. For the inconsiderate moose that decided to open their trap and inspire this actor, I wish them the same discomfort I suffered while watching Wilson’s first starring effort, The Rocker. By Brian Orndorf of This is Briandom
Audiences would be better served staying home and playing Rock Band than wasting their time on something as leaden and unfunny as The Rocker. By Claudia Puig of USA Today
No charm, no ingenuity, and about as much comic verve as an internment camp. By Chris Cabin of FilmCritic.com
