They're on their way to disembowel George Lucas.
I see many movies in theaters, on video, and on television, hoping someday to find one that is tolerable to watch. So far the results have been, to put it lightly, lackluster. However, as much of an idealist as I am, there are some movies that I am unwilling to see, as I’m afraid I will be overcome with the urge to carve open my stomach and drop a rabid ferret among my internal organs as a way of distracting myself from what is on the screen. However, there are people who do see these movies who are willing to give them the thrashing they deserve.
So I have decided to start a new weekly program titled Can’t Even See this Shit, which features a new movie every week that looks so abominable that I can’t bring myself to go see it. To satiate those of you looking for a few words on how atrocious it is, I’ll provide some links to a few reviews that do the movie justice. I feel that it is fitting to inaugurate the C.E.S.S. Pool with the newest horseman of the apocalypse, Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Enjoy.
Review of the Week: It’s awful in a way that makes the Prequel Trilogy seem sort of good, that makes you almost yearn for the return of Jar Jar Binks (mysteriously absent here, replaced by other, equally annoying and offensive characters). By Devin Faraci of CHUD.com
1st Runner Up: This one shucks off all pretense that “Star Wars” has a wonderfully universal appeal and instead unfolds with all the entertainment value of watching somebody else play a video game. By Hank Stuever of The Washington Post
2nd Runner Up: You never knew how much you’d miss all that lousy, wooden human acting. By Owen Gleiberman of Entertainment Weekly
