Ever wanted to listen to boring, annoying teenagers whine to you about their insignificant yet somehow life-or-death problems for ninety minutes? Psychologists get paid hundreds of dollars to perform this job so that the rest of us don’t have to have our minds numbed by the incoherent droning of emo teens, but you get the privilege of being forced into having your brain cells devoured for an hour and a half as the fat kid from Drake and Josh tells you about how his family is poor and the hot girl doesn’t love him, courtesy of The Wackness. Serving as proof that a movie can only be as stupid as its inane title, The Wackness reminisces about the good old days of 1994—are times really so shitty that we’re nostalgic for the mid-90s?
- If only it were a gun he could put himself out of his misery.
Josh Peck stares vapidly at the screen as you stare back, wanting to rip each hair out of his unshaved upper lip just so something will happen in this movie. Ben Kingsley has clearly gone downhill since starring as the villains of Thunder Cats and Blood Rayne, playing an idiotic stoner shrink who spends the entire movie talking about pussy (he even gets some, courtesy of the I can only assume brain dead Mary-Kate Olsen). The worst part of this movie, even worse than the ridiculous title and the soundtrack that reminds us all why we should rejoice that we have left the nineties behind, is that the characters consistently taunt us by smoking up whenever there is a lull in the plot (which is the entire time) while we are forced to watch, sober as nuns. If you want an enjoyable ninety minutes, ditch The Wackness and go buy your own weed. It might be more expensive, but even a bad trip would be less brain corroding than this piece of garbage.
Posted by Tom Houseman 